Tony is...wasting your time with this blog

STATUS UPDATES

Just like 99 percent of the people on Facebook right now, I am obsessed with people updating their status. I do it way too often and the majority of the times I do it lately, I'm plugging this blog (as if enough people care about my status enough to go to this site). You have a wide variety of groups who update. You have those who don't update a lot and when they do, they feel the need to be very specific. Example:

"So&So is heading out to lunch at Fridays with so and so and then heading to the doctors at 2 for a check up and then maybe home to make [insert meal here] for [insert stupid nickname for their loved one] and then American Idol at 8 before Biggest loser comes on."

I really don't think anyone needs that much of an update. Chances are the only person who needs to know that much detail is yourself. Here's an update you can use. "So&So is about to jump in the tub with a few select electronics!"

I also love the people who are trying to send messages to others but wont actually say anything to those peoples faces. Such as:

"So&So cant believe some people can be so immature. Way to ruin something good"

This is the person informing all of us their distain for people who refuse to grow up which possibly means that someone did something to this person enough that they felt like scolding them in front of all their cyber friends. You know the majority of the persons friends have no idea what they are talking about, but a select few know exactly who they are talking about. Its like we get sucked back to junior high when were on Facebook.

You have the quote people too. Those who find a certain line from a movie hilarious enough to use it. I am definitely one of these people. It started when I would use AIM and put up away messages. Thats pretty much what status updates now are. They are you're away message to the world. Thats why you see people who put up an update such as:

"So&So is off for the night and bored. Hit me up"

This usually means the person really has no friends. If they had friends, their friends would know 

the person had the night off. Therefore, if anyone really wanted to hang with the person, they

would contact them via telephone or whatnot. This is a person crying for help. They will most likely

end up sitting at home, alone, watching pornography, drinking hard liquor and passing out way too

early. Just like my Saturdays.

But really, Im as much an offender as anyone else, but do you blame me? Why not be constantly

updated on what your friend from 7th grade that you don't talk to anymore is doing for the evening?

On a side note, if you're around this Friday, Jan 30th, come to Great Scotts in Allston and check out

my buddy Steve doing stand up around 7pm. He is hilarious and a total douche.

Finally, I can say it and not feel alone

I was on Facebook this morning browsing around and like 95% of you who read this, I checked out status updates ( I do this a lot but thats a different blog that I'll get to later). As I was browsing I came upon my friend Alison who I know from back in the Boston days (wonderful Simmons girls!). I was intrigued by her status update that read "Alison doesn't like Bruce Springsteen. Or Bob Dylan. There I said it". At that moment I felt a sense of relief. There was someone out there, who thought like me, but was able to actually say it out loud.

I don't like Bruce Springsteen. Or Bob Dylan. I never have and most likely never will. I know people will ridicule me and discuss how they are such amazing songwriters and storytellers and how Dylan influenced so many and blah blah blah. I don't care how many musicians cite them as being the reason they got into music. I don't care how many records of theirs are on Rolling Stones top albums of all time. I don't like them.

First off Dylan's voice is shit. It is. He cant sing for shit. Its annoying. "Its his style and no one else is like that..." is what people like to say. Really? His own style is a mixture of a 115 year old lifetime smoker, a dying cat and William Hung (yes I really did just make an American Idol reference from 2004). Sure, his words may be "inspiring" and "transcends the era" but really, just write for other people or become a poet (I know a musicians can be considered "poets" anyway, but you catch my drift). The only song I can think of that I like by him is "Hurricane" and I think thats only because it reminds me of the movie staring Denzel (just like, Im close enough with Clint Eastwood to call him Clint, Denzel and I are pretty tight). I will also give Dylan "All Along the Watchtower" which is one of my favorite all time songs. When done by Jimi Hendrix or Dave Matthews (I know I 'll get shit for listing DMB as a favorite while ridiculing the song bird of the the 60's but oh well). 

Now Springsteen isn't as revered I think in our generation as much as Dylan is. I think Dylan is supposed to be the "cool" thing to like. Like guys think it'll be cool to tell people they listen to Dylan or can play it on the guitar. I've been surprised by how many young people really like Springsteen. I figured his fan base was the same he had 25 years ago. Suddenly he is all over the place. Inauguration. Super Bowl. Its out of control. It would work better if it were 1981 and Reagan was being inaugurated and the Oakland Raiders were playing the Philadelphia Eagles.

The guy has one song that I like and thats "Streets of Philadelphia", again from a movie. The song is amazing and I think it brought him some kind of renewed success and ever since he won an Oscar for it, all his shit sounds the same like he's just trying to get another soundtrack deal and win another award. Know why I know the chorus to "Dancer in the Dark"? Because we all remember how Courtney Cox was in the video. Thats it. Because its a useless piece of pop culture. How do we know some of the members of the E Street band? Because the majority of us like watching Conan O'Brien and see Max every night, and because we all loved the Sopranos and seeing little Steven with a horrible hair piece. 

Now we have to deal with him being on during the Super Bowl. Let me guess. We will hear a medley of sorts like the past few acts (Prince, Tom Petty, other horrible choices). Born in the USA will be played. Born to run. Thunder Road. Maybe The Rising. He'll take out his stupid harmonica, dance around on stage like hes 19 as opposed to his real age of 59. Little Steven will have his bandana on and the commentators will commend him for a wonderful performance. 

Ick.

I understand that the NFL has had some making up to for the whole Janet Jackson thing, but please.  Since then we've had Paul McCartney (living legend but not the same without the other 3 fellas although "Hey Jude" was a good move), The Rolling Stones ( a collective age of 258 years old [which would be acceptable with a 10 person band]), Prince (cause he's been relevant this whole decade) and Tom Petty (he did play "American Girl" so I wont be harsh on him). Now Bruce Springsteen. Next year I am guessing we will have Barry Manilow, Neil Diamond or the Four Tops (if they are all still a live). 

I went off on a tangent there a little bit but to wrap this up let me say this. I don't like Bruce Springsteen and I don't like Bob Dylan and if I had a choice to meet either of them, I'd tell Dylan to just go away already and Bruce to stop dying his hair.

El Camino

I went to see the Clint Eastwood flick "Gran Torino" with my brother-in-law Jon Wednesday night. Now I had seen the previews for it but was a little hesitant to see it.

Clint's (Clint and I are pretty tight.I call him by his first name) performance was being talked up and even nominated for a few awards. They were saying it was amazing and "vintage" Eastwood. Well yeah it looks like vintage Eastwood. He's playing an old grumpy man. Big surprise there. I wasn't sure if he was going to be playing the same character from "Million Dollar Baby" or what. When isn't this guy old and grumpy? Anyway, I broke and went to see that as opposed to seeing "Valkaryie" (I think I would have been more excited to see it if Tom Cruise played the part as his character from "Tropic Thunder").

The film was actually pretty enjoyable. He plays an old Korean war vet still living in his old neighborhood which has become a community of minorities leaving him as the only white man on the street. Over time he of course becomes close with an asian family next door, taking the young boy under his wing and making him into a man. I don't want to give too much away incase you decide to see it, but let me just say this. The racial slurs are abundant. I don't think there is any group that goes untouched by Clint. I even heard some new ones from him. Its like Prince Harry, Kramer and Hitler rolled up into one character.

So if you have time, check it out. Entertaining with some good acting.

No, its a cardigan but thanks for noticing...

Today is my day off. I usually spend Wednesday sleeping in and pretty much dong nothing productive till about 3 pm. Unfortunately, I had to be up at 6:30 this morning. Why you may ask? Because I had to go to court to fight a speeding ticket. Heres the quick background.

It was the end of September on a Sunday. I had spent the weekend in Boston and was about to head home but my car had other plans. I was heading back into the North End to get some pizza and pastries to bring home when my car decided to die on a small side street in the middle of the North End which is perfect cause we all know how big the streets are in the North End. Nope.  So I wait for AAA to come and tow the car to a mechanic. This is all in about an hours worth of time which isn't too bad. Now its a Sunday remember, so no mechanic will look at which means I need to find a way home and wait to hear from the guy the next day. Enter my dad. He agrees to drive down and pick me up. I can always rely on Big Poppa.

My dad arrives and I take over control of the car. You see with my dad, you cant be a passenger in his car. If you ever are for some ridiculous reason, you will most likely soil yourself or come damn close while also finding God along the way. My father likes to wait till the last second to stop behind a car. Its like hes playing "lets see how close we can get before we hit it". Anyway, I decided to drive. Im better in the city and I knew how to get out and to the highway quickly.

Were cruising along fine on 93. We come up on the border of NH where as many of you know, the speed limit drops from 65 to 55. I know this because of the hundreds if not thousands of times I drove on it commuting to school. There were cars passing us and some going slower. As I approached the exit 1 overpass, out from behind a barrier on the left comes a state trooper walking into the passing lane, pointing fingers at people to pull over. Naturally I was ecstatic when he pointed in my direction. Oh! Oh! He picked me! He picked me! Many of you will say "you should have just kept driving" cause yeah, Im sure many of you would have just sped off with the knowledge that he has the right to chase you down and pull you over. 

So I pull over and come to a stop rather easily. Another car was going so fast it had to back up to the cruisers cause it had passed them so fast. I think this is good to bring up when you read how fast he said I was going. I grab by license and the registration for my dads car. He comes up and asks me all the same shit. Did I know how fast I was going, blah, blah. I wait for about 10 minutes when he comes back up. He informs me that he clocked me on laser going 91 in a 55 which was also at the time a construction zone. Bullshit. So much bullshit. Im able to stop a car going 91 mph in the matter of maybe 30 yards? He tells me he's lowering it to 88 in a 65 so that I don't have to go to court. This doesn't sound too bad to me. $150 maybe? I get the ticket and look. $350. Yes thats right $350. "Im fighting it" were the first words out of my mouth to my dad. Actually it was "are you fucking kidding me?" but you get the idea.

Thats what brings us to today. I was planning on fighting it on the grounds that I was with the flow of traffic and there's no way to tell if I was the right car and a bunch of other bullshit. I went hoping he wouldn't show but of course he did. He actually informed me that NH state troopers get in trouble for not going to the hearings so if a state trooper gets you, chances are he'll be in court. We go over my ticket before court and he tells me how he already dropped it and what not and that the judge could up it since it was in a construction zone. Bigger fine, loss of license, blah, blah you wont win. Thats what it came down to. I talked the talk but didn't walk the walk. I told him I'd just pay it so I didn't have to even go before the judge. 

So Im out some money and my car insurance will probably go up and I learned a state trooper will always show up (he had another 4 people fighting tickets too). But in the end, the real moral of this story is this. You don't always need to go back for cannolis. Thats right. Had I not gone to get pastries, none of this would have happened. Damn you sweet deliciousness that is a cannoli.

Things I like right now...and things I dont...

So here are some things that are tickling my fancy right now and some things that are just downright annoying.

THINGS I LIKE RIGHT NOW

30 Rock

Right now this is the best show on television. Many will argue against me and say that "The Office" is better, which is a valid argument, but you cant beat Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin. "The Office is next fave but I cant get past the outrageousness of "30 Rock". Everyone has finally turned the corner on Tina Fey after seeing her as Palin on SNL. But if you haven't seen the first or second season of this show, find it online now. Tracy Morgan adds a lot with his randomness and how can you not love a show with an entire episode revolving around an episode of "Milf Island"?

Missed Connections 

On Craigslist, there is  section of posting titles called Missed Connections. I must make sure I mention that I was turned on to these postings by my friend Brianna. What it is, is a place where people post after maybe seeing people for a quick instant and thinking there was some sort of "connection". Like someone is in line at the bank and makes eye contact with someone. They then post saying how cute they were or what not and try to find out who they are. Its pretty ridiculous and a little stalkerish, but its great for a few minutes of amusement. The info people put on there is great. My personal favorite had to be one woman discussing how attractive this one fella was and how much she'd love to maybe meet up for drinks. Now that doesn't seem too bad right? What made it great was that they met at a meeting at the unemployment office. Awesome. Solid potential for a great relationship. 

THINGS I DONT LIKE RIGHT NOW

NFL PLAYOFFS

I have to throw in some sports on this post. Most people reading this are Patriot fans, where as I am not. I wont discuss my alliance right now cause I don't feel like hearing more shit from Hines. Anyway, the playoffs have been awful thus far. Im writing this while watching the Pittsburgh/ San Diego game. I just finished watching the pile of crap called a game between the Giants and Eagles. I hate the Eagles. McNabb is overrated and now if they make the Super Bowl, all we'll hear for two weeks is how he was benched and came back and Andy Reid bounced back from having his two kids turning his house into a drug emporium and blah blah blah. Boring and over done. San Diego is full of whiners. Rivers is the biggest douche in the league hands down and I know even Pats fans will agree with that. Ray Lewis has a big mouth and likes to run it which makes me irritated by Baltimore. Pittsburgh and Arizona are the only two teams left I wouldn't mind seeing in the Super Bowl. Not too mention, if you have a matchup between Philly and someone like San Diego, the NFL will be pissed because it will probably be the least watched Super Bowl in recent years.

SNOW

I know I cant complain too much because shit, I live in New England. It snows here. I know. But really, this is just too much right now. Im sick of snow blowing and cleaning off cars. At this point Im ready to become a retiree and just go to Florida from November to March. A few storms and snow falls is one thing but every damn week we have to deal with it. I thought we were dealing with global warming  here. If that were the case, we'd be sitting in 50 degree weather right now deciding if we want to open up the barbeque. 

On the eighth day, he created this blog...

Where does one begin. I've been thinking about doing a blog for sometime now after being inspired by reading my friend Jeremys. I used to write a bit back in the day on Myspace (so 2006) but it started to get a little dry and a little boring. Some complaints came in about certain posts, usually those involving sports. Well, Ill tell you right now, its inevitable that this blog will have some posts about sports. I cant help it. Its who I am. 

But in no way is this blog only going to be about sports. I have opinions on a lot of shit that I plan to share ranging from A to Z. Which letter is better? Im partial to the letter "T" but thats neither here nor there. Seriously though, I'll be rambling on about a lot of different shit on here I'm sure and if it starts to get boring to you then just find a new blog. I mean, I'm not trying to be an asshole but really, don't think I'll just up and change it cause you get bored reading about my trip to the eye doctor. I mean please, that says hilarity all over it!!

In all honesty though, I hope people read this and maybe even like it a bit.  And to prepare, please be aware that I may say things at times that you find rude or offensive. Not disgusting or anything. Im not going to discuss last nights sexual conquest ($20 bucks but she had the nicest adams apple). But I may discuss certain groups or ideas that I find ridiculous and this may offend you. Please don't let it. Throughout my life I have been made fun of plenty of times before both to my face and behind my back. Whether it be for me being a ginger balls or just enjoying fatty foods, I accept that I may be the butt of some jokes which gives me the right to make jokes back. 

So enjoy. Look back for a lot of writing cause I have a lot of shit to say and dammit, you're going to read it all.