308. That is what the scale was saying. It was February 28th, 2008. I had never been exactly a toothpick but I do remember a time when I was a bit more in shape. It was the early years of high school. After playing sports throughout my young years, high school came, I got “cool” and started wanting to be a skateboarding/rock playing/film maker which apparently meant no real exercise or activity. I began losing my girlish figure around then but was far from the final dip. Somewhere along the line while living in Boston, New Hampshire, Malden and then back to New Hampshire, I had lost my metabolism and filled that void with junk food and booze. They really did go well together.
My job definitely contributed to the increase in my waist size. I would leave there at night with free food meaning whole small pizzas, calzones, pasta dishes. I’d then wash most of that down with soda or beer or soda mixed with booze! Unfortunately, I did no real activity. During that time I did the whole “diet” thing. Trying dieting while working 12 hour shifts at a pizza place. Plenty of salads each day followed by...calzone? I had no self control in many aspects of my life and thus the weight was adding up.
2008 I had three of my closest friends getting married and I was in all of their weddings. For those who know me well, I thoroughly enjoy weddings and I thoroughly enjoy dressing up. Here were a few opportunities to wear a tux, which while others may be annoyed by that fact, I was excited. Unfortunately, the tux can only make you look so good when you weigh over 300 pounds.
So that February I decided to finally do it. To really, really diet. I started that February day and two weeks later was down 20 pounds. So far so good. Over the next few weeks I kept on it. I cut out junk food, cut down on beer. I would run and bike. By the first wedding in May I was down 44 pounds. July was another 10. With it being summer I cheated here and there. Obviously at weddings I ate and drank but didn’t get crazy.
Fall came and I let off a little, gaining a little bit back but when 2009 came upon us I started back up and started running. I made a goal to run a 5k by the end of the year. That time came and went and I did not quite make it. So I made it a goal again this year. I would run at least one if not more. When spring time came, I started running more to try and gain some endurance. In my head I equated the goal of losing weight with running a 5K. I think I felt that by finishing one it was almost like a final goodbye to that old lazy Tony. I was putting all that baggage I had behind me once and for all. I no longer felt the need to make the fat jokes before other people did or pretend to think people meant I was funny when they said I reminded them of Kevin James (who I am definitely more funny than).
I tried not being too nervous before the run. I had been running this distance for a while now so I just had to deal with new terrain. I was running with my girlfriend and friends and while I knew it was going to be a fun run, I knew that over the 25-30 minutes I figured it would take me, I would finally be achieving something I never really thought I would. It may sound silly or cheesy cause its not like its a marathon I ran but when I think back to the 208 lbs version of me who drank, smoked and whose only physical activity was walking from my car, a 5k really means something. I see it as a stepping stone. I feel like if I keep doing 5k’s that I wont let myself slip back to what I was. Perhaps a 5k will turn into a 10k or a half marathon or even a sprint triathlon.
Over this time period my father who had also had issues with his weight had lap band surgery. He had tried everything he could over the years but his knees hurt cause of the weight which meant he couldn’t exercise and it just kept getting worse. He had the surgery around the end of 2008 and has lost around 100 lbs. It was great to have someone going through exactly what I was. We’d tell each other about when we had to buy new clothes cause all our stuff was too big. I’d see him doing more work and walking when he golfed. I began to see the change in his face and attitude. He had this rejuvenated spirit like he was 20 years younger and I suppose he probably saw that in me. Here I was wanting to play sports and be active again. Getting excited to get dressed up in a suit. Laughing at the simple things like tightening my watch on my much thinner wrist. It was really a blessing to have had and still have someone to go through it with.
This blog may have gone in a different direction than you may have thought but it was a story I figured I’d share. I know people would see my facebook updates about running and people would comment on newer pictures of me and to those who have complimented me, I really do thank you. I don’t want you to think I wrote this blog in order to get pats on the back and praise. As much as I do appreciate it when someone says I’m looking better, the only real opinion that matters is mine and for the last two years I’ve been able to boost that opinion of myself more than I thought. Thankfully I have had friends and family to push me and with the future holding more goals I hope to reach, I’ll still need their support.
I guess if this blog is really about anything in particular it’s about how if you really do want something, you really can get it. It’s cheesy, it’s corny, it’s simple and it’s true. The minute I crossed that finish line at 23:43, I couldn’t really believe I had done it. The last two years rushed through my mind. I wasn’t sure if I had pushed too hard and was about to have a heart attack (what a fitting and ironic ending that would have been to this story), so I sat down. I took a few minutes. I sat there and caught my breath. I thought back to that day in February 2008. I didn’t smoke anymore. I was 83 lbs lighter. I had just finished my first race. I let it soak in and after seeing everyone else finish, I started to think again. Not about the race. Not about the past. Instead I through about the next 5k. And the one after that. And the one after that.
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