You take the kids, I'll take the house...

So like many of you, I day dream all the time. A thought will pop into my head and I'll be off in my imagination for a few minutes. The other day was no exception so I thought I'd share.

I was flipping through an entertainment magazine (they do still print these) and stumbled upon a picture of a certain attractive actress. She will remain nameless so that after this post, I can be made fun of but with detail. Anyway, its an actress that I find very attractive. That's where the day dreaming starts.
I begin to think how wonderful my life would be to date her. Think about it. A beautiful celebrity. We'd meet in some random way while walking down the street (even though I live 3,000 miles away) and for some reason she'd be taken aback by this pasty white ginger. She'd say hi, I'd say hi and wekd connect. Perhaps we'd get a drink and things would take off. I'd go to a big premiere with her and maybe work on a film together. Eventually wed have a huge wedding covered by Perez Hilton and then have wonderfully cute kids who are cursed by having red hair. We'd grow old and become this generations It couple, staying together for years. My what a nice day dream.

I then look back at the magazine and read the caption about her and her boyfriend. Boyfriend? How could this be? How could she do this to me? My mind begins wandering again.

What if she marrys this douche? What if he interfers with our chance meeting? Everything I was so happy about is gone. Then I realize, its Holllywood. These things never last. Its the land of divorce. So then I think it can still work. She'll have a few years with this assclown and then get a divorce. Its perfect! I swoop in and get her on the rebound. I show my sensitive side and boom. We're together and all the happy thoughts come back. Money, celebrity, big house, kids.

But there's the problem. Divorce is so abundant there. What if we get divorced? She makes all the money. I'm just a bum who married up. What if she paints me in the media to be some dick who treated her bad? Who gets the kids? I can't be single that late in life. I have nothing to offer a woman.

Then I stop and realize how pathetic I am. I'm now depressed after thinking about my impending divorce to a celebrity that will leave me with no life. That's right, I lack enough self esteem to even have a good day dream. I suck.